Sunday, 12 September 2010

Running out of bottles

The sky is blue and the clouds are wispy (my favourite), the air is warm and there is peace and quiet in the neigbourhood and in the house.  A lawn mower is rumbling off in the distance, the breeze is slight but fragrant with the freesias that just keep replenishing.  I sit here on my front porch snuggled under my Autumn leaf blanket with my laptop and another migraine.

I felt a bit manic this morning, will I go to church, won't I??  Will I get up and wash my unkempt hair and help the boys get ready or won't I??  My head hurts and my eyes are bleary yet I want to do things.  It has been a busy week in preparation for Toby's 5th birthday and party.  Some times I think I just overdo the love.  I knew it was going to be a migraine weekend, but I had some inklings of hope that it may not be bad and that I could cope with things.  I will post about the party, just maybe not today, I have so much on my mind.

I was stressed and emotional but the party ran smoothly thanks to Don Solo, however I still managed to blow a fuse.  It is difficult when your body won't do what the mind is telling it to do and the emotions just take over.  My body has an agenda all on it's own and it certainly doesn't consult with me (my brain) about whether or not  it's ok to blow a fuse...or have a migraine for that matter.

So once the boys were packed off to church, in my dreamy way, I wandered around the garden picking the freesias that are in abundance and took photo's trying to soak up the wonders of the morning to lift my soul out of this migraine madness.  I had been wanting to pick more flowers all week but just never got around to it.  My bottles on the table were looking very sad and the flowers needed replacing.  Now I am running out of bottles the flowers are so abundant.

I even pulled the screen out of our dining room window to capture the tiny pink blossoms just outside.  They are very precious and petite and I love watching them in the sun every morning as they tap hello on the window.

I don't think my lens was wide enough to capture the amazing sky this morning and the wispy clouds that were drifting across the sky. 

I just felt the need to express a few things and still share the love I have for this beautiful day.  I remember a little something from high school.  A poem I learned, when I needed a little help at school, it was a poster that I had been given by my study skills tutor.  It brings me to tears and I feel special whenever I read it.  It's been a long time since I read it though.  This is a reminder more for myself but if it works for you too, I'm glad. 

My Declaration of Self-Esteem

by Virginia Satir


In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me
Everything that comes out of me is authentically me
Because I alone chose it - I own everything about me
My body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions,
Whether they be to others or to myself - I own my fanatasies,
My dreams, my hopes, my fears - I own all my triumphs and
Successes, all my failures and mistakes Because I own all of
Me, I can become intimately acquainted with me - by so doing
I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts - I know
There are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other
Aspects that I do not know - but as long as I am
Friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously
And hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles
And for ways to find out more about me - However I
Look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever
I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically
Me - If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought
And felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is
Unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that
Which I discarded - I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do
I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be
Productive to make sense and order out of the world of
People and things outside of me - I own me, and
therefore I can engineer me - I am me and


© Virginia Satir, 1975.

Found in Virginia Satir, Self Esteem, Celestial Arts: California, 1975.

I am me and I am Ok